Zoccoli’s in Santa Cruz

Excuse me, I did not order the Scamwich.

The recipe for success in business is simple but difficult: develop an irresistible promise and deliver on it every single time. Then you become known for it and people will flock. That second part – delivering on the promise – is how you develop trust. In this fast-paced world of a zillion thing-a-ma-do’s that don’t and hucksters pawing your wallet, trust is among the rarest, most precious substances. If you have trust, you’re golden. The absolute last thing you want to do is fuck it up.

A successful delicatessen, for example, promises to take fresh, delicious ingredients and quickly prepare them in such a way as to delight your tastebuds and satisfy your hunger. They’ll also promise to have you back to doing what you need to get done in no time at all. By delivering those things consistently, they mint trust with every single customer, build momentum, generate positive word of mouth, sell a shit-ton of sandwiches and retire fat and happy. 

But what if you order an Italian combo from a delicatessen and they hand you a brick of red clay wrapped up in butcher paper? Is that simply a failure to deliver on the promise? Or does it rise to the level of a crime? According to the law, delivering a brick sandwich instead of an Italian combo would be considered a deceptive business practice – not simply a bad sandwich, but a bait-and-switch sandwich. In other words, the buyer relied on false information to make the purchasing decision.

There is a version of this practice that bad delicatessens employ whereby they put a tiny bit of the advertised meat in the sandwich, but bunch it all up where the sandwich has been sliced. When you open up the sliced sandwich you’re staring at a big hunk of meat. You lick your chops thinking you’re in for a feast. But after one bite you find that the meat is an inch deep and doesn’t come anywhere near covering the entire surface area of the bread - which is the implicit promise of the sandwich concept. This happens frequently at Japanese convenience stores. 7-11 has been caught doing this with their “sandwiches.” It’s a thing. 

Speaking of scamwiches, Subway sells 11-inch “footlong” sandwiches filled with tuna that’s not tuna on a roll that’s more pastry than bread. Welcome to America. 

Zoccoli’s in Santa Cruz

Open since 1948, Zoccoli’s is a quaint, old-world Italian-style delicatessen in the heart of Santa Cruz’s downtown (1534 Pacific Avenue). Originally a small grocery, the owners started making sandwiches, soups, and salads in the early 70s - effectively turning it into a grocery deli. Today, it’s a 100% delicatessen owned and operated by the original owner’s grandsons, Craig and Russell, as well as Craig’s wife. It’s one of the oldest family-run businesses still in operation in Santa Cruz. 

I asked Craig, the counterman, whether his kids might take over someday. He sounded skeptical. They’re all teachers and have a hard time giving up their summers. It’s backbreaking work, running a delicatessen. But he said he was still having fun (I’d put him in his late 50’s). Super nice guy… which made it even harder, to tell you the truth about my experience. 

The “scamwich”

I saw a young girl stabbing ravioli at one of the tables out front, and I felt a tug of temptation. Ultimately, I didn’t have enough hunger to justify both ravioli and a sandwich, so I went with the chicken parm (an Italian tradition) featuring breaded chicken breast on a ciabatta roll with a marinara sauce and provolone cheese. This concept of layering breaded and fried meat with tomato sauce and cheese dates back to the middle ages. But it was Italian immigrants in the early 1900s that brought the concept to America. Today, chicken parmesan is a symbol of Italian-American comfort food.

Kerri got the “Filletto” sandwich with mozzarella, pesto, and tomato on a ciabatta roll. 

My excitement quickly melted into disappointment. I could barely taste the marinara, couldn’t taste the provolone at all, and the scant chicken was bunched in the middle of the sandwich like so many convenience store versions in cheap plastic containers. Basically, a bread sandwich. It was as if I’d walked up to the counter and requested, “The Total Bummer.” 

That little white part…that’s the chicken.

When I had paid up, Craig mentioned to me that real delicatessens were a dying breed due to grocery delis and chain sandwich joints. I’d politely add that those competitors would be easy to beat if one were to actually deliver on the fundamental promise of any sandwich slinger - all promised ingredients should be spread evenly across the entirety of the bread. FFS. 

Kerri’s sandwich was also a disappointment. Mostly bread, as you can see here. #sad.

---

On the Side

How Sandwiches SHOULD BE:
TikTok isn’t my jam, but Tik Toker (Tokker?) Jack’s Dining Room has a good lesson for the owners at Zoccoli’s. Watch how Jholano’s Deli in Coral Gables, Florida makes their sandwiches and notice how your mouth starts to get a little bit wetter as they pile on that burrata. Mmmmmm.

Boy, Americans Sure Do Loooove Sandwiches
Say what you will about sandwiches - they’re too filling, too unhealthy, too carby, whatever - 47% of Americans (154 million people) eat one or more sandwiches each and every day. That’s according to the USDA. Not exactly a good idea, but we’re doing it. USA! USA!

Exactly 1% of this post was written by Chat GPT. Wheeeeeeeeeee!