San Francisco's Fatted Calf

A good, but small sandwich and an uninviting atmosphere

7.5/10 Tasty, well-balanced, but small sandwich. Surly service.

Around 1pm last Monday a man entered Tony Baloney's, a San Francisco delicatessen (7th & Howard), stole a beverage, and left. The owner, a mother of three, went to close and lock the shop's front door to prevent the man from returning when he punched her in the face and proceeded to beat her. Bystanders intervened and pinned the man down until police arrived. She survived, but was bruised and shaken.

After reading about this incident, I decided to give Tony Baloney's some business and write about it in this here newsletter. But when I arrived they were closed. No note. I imagine she’s still recovering. So I decided to head over to Hayes Valley and pop into the Fatted Calf instead.

The Fatted Calf is a high-end butcher shop, charcuterie and delicatessen located on Fell at Gough. As you can imagine, homemade meatsies are the central focus. Roast beef, roast pork, salami, mortadella, pastrami, prosciutto, Cajun smoked andouille, Mexican chorizo Italian fennel sausage, salame, chorizo, pancetta, guanciale (jowl ‘bacon’), smoked pork chops, bacon and braesola (beef ‘ham’) as well as fresh pork, lamb and poultry.- a meat-lover’s fantasy land. They’re also reasonably well-stocked with premium cheeses from Marin, Napa and Europe.

It’s a nice, clean, uncluttered shop with concrete floors. Most of the products are in the deli case, with a few shelves of packaged delicasies and wine. Delicatessens can be crowded, visually cocophenous places. But the sparseness of this space made it feel clean and premium and it helped me focus on why I was there.

In case you’re wondering, the fatted calf is a symbol that originated in the New Testament and means celebrating a person's long-awaited return. In ancient times, people would set one prized animal aside from the herd and feed it a special diet to fatten it up, thus making it more flavorsome for special occasions - like when a prodigal son returns from some stupid, ill-conveived adventure in a far away land to apologize and be accepted back into the family. The fatted calf is slaughtered and the people make merry.

Today"killing the fatted calf" simply it’s a special occasion - like as used in the Elton John song "Bennie and the Jets.”

I timed this trip to coincide with my hunger clock but had been unexpectedly delayed by the “closed” sign at Tony Baloney’s. So by the time I parked, my blood sugar was in the red. Thankfully, the place was practically empty and the sandwiches on their menu had been pre-made. In fact, I got the impression they didn’t want me lingering there at all. As I gazed around for a menu, the woman behind the counter curtly asked for my order, I could have imagined this, but my sense is that the woman was giving me the “Get your stuff and get out” vibe. Very transactional. No chit-chat. As if I’d interrupted something that they’d like to get back to thank you very much.

Under her impatient gaze, I scanned the menu quickly and randomly chose the meatloaf.

Ordering meatloaf from strangers is something of “trust fall” as they could put literally anything in the stuff and you wouldn’t know. Lip balm. Crystal Light flavor crystals, who the fuck knows. But I was feeling adventurous…and very hungry, so…

The sandwich came on a very fresh, soft role. But it was a bit… well, puny. And while I don’t love the trend of making monster truck-type sandwiches with ingredients oozing out the sides, I do expect to be full at the end. Or at least satiated.

Aside from being small, the sandwich was obviously concieved by a gastronomically astute individual There were precious few ingredients, which allowed each flavor a moment in the limelight on the big stage in my big, fat mouth. The stone ground seed mustard was a strong choice to go with the meatloaf. On the first bite, it popped so much I thought there was horseradish in there for a second. Then the pickled red onions took their sweet turn in a duet with the meatloaf. The lettuce helped hold the whole ensemble together. I enjoyed the show, but had hoped for a second act. Alas.

The owners Taylor Boetticher and Toponia Miller, are both chefs who met at the Culinary Institute of America (the CIA) and got their start at legendary Bay Area eateries like Fog City Diner, Cafe Rouge and Mustards. They started The Fatted Calf in 2008 at the Oxbow Market in Napa and later opened this 320 Fell St. location in SF. An odd location, to be honest, but apparently the landlord and Taylor were friends and the landlord was very generous. This is key when operating a delicatessen because often the rent can become impossibly high. Each time a landlord raises rent, all the math goes out the window, and you have to reinvent yourself. The best move is to own the building yourself, if you can.

I was glad to hear that their meats are sustainably and humanely raised. They vet their ranchers carefully and mainly buy from California-based producers.

I discovered an old 2014 interview with Taylor where he offers this observation about running the Fatted Calf: “It's about more than just raw talent. A lot of it is the unsexy stuff. It's about organization, getting a team up to speed. Building good work habits and not settling, buying the best raw ingredients you can and using them to the best of your abilities.”

It certainly does help to be a CIA-trained chef.

“And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry.”

The Parable of the Prodigal Son
(Deuteronomy 21:18-21)